Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

“Start the day with love, live the day with love and end the day with love.”

From: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff by Richard Carlson

(The following is a leadership letter that I composed many years back. I remember receiving a very large number of positive responses and comments at the time. Our world has seemed to change a little bit since then but maybe this suggestion by Dr. Carlson might be even more appropriate and necessary as we start the next decade. See what you think?)

This is a cool “little book.” I highly recommend it. Dr. Carlson compiled 100 simple ways to help us cope with life. This one about love (#35 out of his 100 suggestions) is especially relevant for me to remember as I deal with the “craziness” of our very busy world. It once again reminds me that I need to “slow life down” and remember what is most important.

In fact, one of my daily goals is to find some time for solitude. Not just silence from television, music and i-phones. But true solitude. A time when I can listen to my soul, my God. A time when I can hear what He wants me to do and a time for Him to listen to my fears, needs and goals. Most of the time it involves someone close to me. And most of the time, it involves caring and loving. My best times for thinking and planning strategically for me, my family and my life seem to be when I am in solitude as well. The more I am in solitude, the easier it is for me to accept others just the way they are, to accept me, despite all of my failures, and to love others, unconditionally.

The following was so well written that I simply copied word for word what the author recommends about this topic:

· Start the day with love means that when you wake up in the morning, you open your heart and remind yourself of your intent to be “loving” in every aspect of your life.

· Live the day with love means that your choices and actions stem from your decision to be loving, patient, kind and gentle. It means you keep things in perspective and try not to take things personally or blow things out of proportion. It means you make allowances for the imperfections of others and of yourself, and that you try to keep your criticisms and judgments from rising to the surface.

· End the day with love means that you take a moment at the close of your day to reflect and to be grateful.

Working in hospice, we know how fragile life can be. We know that our life can end without warning in the very next minute. Over the last few months and years, I have personally “lost” many dear relatives, friends and acquaintances. Some died without any warning. Since then, I have tried to recount our last conversation. I wondered if they truly knew how much I appreciated them or cared about them.

Awhile back I developed a new goal: “to try to walk in the shoes” of folks that ‘I come in contact with on a daily basis.’ I started doing this with the awesome clerks at my dry cleaner, the associate at my gym, the waitresses at our favorite Mexican restaurant or even the TSA agents at the airport!

I decided that if I practice starting my day, living my day and ending my day with love as Dr. Carlson suggests, then maybe I will treat people the way I would want to be treated and loved.

I am not perfect in my execution, but it feels good to be going in the right direction.

If you are a business leader, you might wonder if this message is appropriate for you and your organization. I truly believe it is critical. Your associates need to feel valued, connected and empowered. It doesn’t take much but it does take effort. A short note remembering a birthday, a pleasant greeting on a Monday morning, a simple praise when someone does a good job or even a smile as you pass someone in the hall is more impactful than you think. The old saying still rings true today, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Thanks for reading this.

With a goal to “help the next one in line”, Glen Cavallo, a 30+ year healthcare executive has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen does this by serving as a coach/advisor to leaders at all levels of organizations, as a board member and as he presents inspirational speeches at regional, national, annual and awards meetings.