Cement Steps

"Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you're born to stand out?"

Oliver James

A few years ago, one of the steps out front became loose. We had lived in the house about 15 years so I guess it was to be expected. So off I went to the hardware store to buy cement and a cement gun. One Saturday morning I was going to “be the man” of the house and repair the front steps. You see repairs don’t come easily to me. I “ace” cleaning up, organizing, mowing, painting and the like, but I have often struggled with leaky faucets, running toilets and now, loose steps. And if there are directions involved, the job just became one hundred times more difficult.

Ok, so back to the steps. After what seemed like hours, I finally figured out the cement gun and was ready to tackle the job. (Think Tim the Tool Man Taylor). I removed the loose brick, cleaned off the old mortar and was all set to apply the new cement when I noticed that the steps had actually shifted. After years, they were “out of line.” In what turned out to be the worst decision of the day, I lightly tapped the other bricks back into place with my hammer. I reiterate “lightly tapped.” That was my mistake. The old bricks practically broke off in my hands. It was like a domino effect. One brick after another breaking loose and falling apart. The quick 15-minute repair job was now a full- blown project. It was out of control.

Here’s where I have matured over the years. In my twenties, I would have spent hours trying to fix this. I would have been frustrated and felt like a failure. I may have even been short with my wife or kids for a while. It would not be something they did, but rather, my self-talk. In my head, I would hear: “You aren’t much of a man, or a provider. You cannot even fix one brick.” Look around, Mark can tear down his deck and build another one in one weekend and you cannot even fix a brick.”

Negative self-talk seems to affect everyone. I have known beautiful women that really believe they are not attractive, “Super Moms” that after family conflict or a child melt down feel like a complete failure and children that get picked last for pickup games or get a “B” in a class when their friends did better feel like they are “dumb.” It’s like a tape recording that plays over and over in our minds: “I am not worthy.”

One of the better lessons that come with maturity is that I care less and less what others think. In actuality, there’s an excellent chance they really aren’t thinking about me anyway. I have tried to learn to recognize when my negative self-talk is playing the wrong message in my mind and then most importantly, stop it and change the channel.

Today, when that inaccurate recording tries to play a message in your mind again, try to recognize that it’s the wrong channel. It’s not meant for you. Don’t let it send negative thoughts into your brain and heart and say that you are unworthy or a failure.

You are awesome just the way you are. You and I were "factory-made".

Oh, by the way, we placed a plant over the broken bricks so that no one could get hurt while we awaited the handyman to fix the steps. It actually looked pretty good there.

Have a great weekend and God bless.

Glen Cavallo is a 30+ year healthcare executive that has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen provides inspirational keynote speeches at regional, annual and awards meetings, serves in advisory and board positions for companies and helps to mentor and coach leaders in all areas of business.