Can you hear them?

My parents died over 20 years ago. But their lessons still resonate with me. My sweet Mom was kind to everyone and always willing to help others. My street-tough Dad was hardworking, a great provider and loving at the same time. I learned much from them and today, I carry along many of their values and life lessons.

Today, I am super close to my oldest grandson. I mean, super close! He is 6 going on 26 and has the kindest heart, is inquisitive and such a cool kid. He has my heart. So do my granddaughters. I melt when they laugh at my silliness, call my name to get my attention or give me a long hug. One even pats my back as she hugs me. These little ones are the greatest gifts from God that are possibly imagined at this stage of my life.

I am probably in the last 20-25% of my life on earth and someday one of my grand-kids could write about me. I wonder what will they write? What will stick out in their minds? How will I be remembered? What values will I pass along to them?

As an executive coach, I pass along many lessons during my weekly, bi-weekly or monthly calls with my “coachees”. Many of these lessons are things I learned the hard way along my journey. Others are decisions or actions I made or took at a critical junction over those almost 40 years. Sometimes, I did what someone else recommended like an advisor, mentor or friend. Most of the time, I chose a step after meeting with one or more of my management team, after listening to all sides, seeking wise counsel and then choosing a path.

When I look back now, there were hundreds of such people!

Sometimes they were my boss, his or her boss, a peer, a friendly competitor, a department manager or a clerk. In actuality, the title didn’t matter. But what did matter was their credibility, their values, their expertise and their caring.

Many of the decisions were ultimately made from my chair but the fact gathering, the vetting and the debate was made via a phone call, an email, a meeting or just from a little voice in my head or heart.

Growing up there was a slogan, ‘WWJD’. Stands for ‘What would Jesus do?’ Hopefully, I used that as my benchmark many times. But I also took into account what would David do? Or Bob? Or Jim? Or Bill? Or Jerry? Or Rick? Or about a hundred more names. Or what would Mary (my Mom) or Joe (my Dad) or Barb (my wife) do.

Most of the names I listed and didn’t list are not physically here with me today. Some have passed while others are living in various places around the country. But I can still feel their presence when I need help in making a decision. I can still hear their voices and see their faces.

I recently heard a great line that goes something like: ‘The person doesn’t have to be in the room to be present in your heart and mind’. I think is so very true. Whenever I need help, experience fear the unknown or must make a decision, I can sort of send out a request for help to the hundreds of people who have cared and care for me and before I know it, the answer or help is there. I may not always like what I hear but it usually the right thing to do.

I think good leaders do the same. They make decisions based on values. Values they learned and incorporated in their careers. Outside of work, it seems to work the same way. Values from my parents, spouse, kids, church friends and my heavenly Father drive my decisions and actions.

In the end, being a senior leader can be a lonely job. But if you stop for a second, you can feel the presence of so many others who are there to help, encourage, inspire and guide.

You are not alone! They are right there! They are not physically there in the room, but they sure are present in your mind and heart.

Thanks for reading this.

With a goal to “help the next one in line”, Glen Cavallo, a 30+ year healthcare executive has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen does this by serving as a coach/advisor to leaders at all levels of organizations, as a board member and as he presents inspirational speeches at regional, national, annual and awards meetings.