Change of Scenery

Over the years, my work took us from New Jersey to Florida to Tennessee to Arkansas back to New Jersey and then, finally back to Arkansas. Wow! My wife is a saint for moving so many times with me and she has become quite adept at boxing home furnishings. In fact, you don’t want to be standing near her when she has wrapping paper and tape in her hand and an empty box nearby. You could find yourself in that box and headed on the next moving van!

Each location had so much to offer and one of the ways we adjusted to the moves was to always look for the positives in each new city. I mean, how could you not love living with the Florida sunshine, or the rolling hills and gracious people of Nashville or the beautiful lakes and mountains of Western Arkansas (not to mention learning to call the HOGS each Fall). And then there were all of the Broadway shows in NY, the Jersey Shore, concerts at Madison Square Garden and the lack of traffic congestion in NJ. Oooops, I said, “stay positive!”

This approach of looking for the positive was absolutely one of the best decisions we ever made. We intentionally refrained from focusing on the negatives and in turn, looked for every positive attribute of living in that area. It was amazing how much we noticed and appreciated. And it was eye-opening how much things were the same, no matter where we were.

Example: We lived in a little town of Allendale, NJ for a year. Boy, did we love riding our bikes in that town, going to dinner at the Allendale Bar and Grill, riding the train into the city, sitting on the beach at their town lake and watching the most amazing fireworks show on the Fourth of July. We got to know our neighbors in our townhouse. Many had children like ours, some were new grandparents like we were, some vacationed in Hilton Head like we did and everyone just wanted to live a life of happiness, good health and friendship. People from the South would say “How could you like living up there with all that noise, pollution and traffic?” And I tell them, every place has pros and cons and if we acknowledge the cons but focus on the pros, you will be amazed at all that this great country has to offer.

In the business world, I walked into some pretty distressed settings with multiple problems over the years. I didn’t create them but once I signed on, I owned them. The list of issues and major problems was sometimes staggering. I learned to take them one at a time and to not focus on the negative. I learned that the team was usually previously weakened by these negative issues and I needed to get them to refocus on the positives. Acknowledge the issues but focus on the positives. These were good people doing their best to try to help good people. It doesn’t get better than that.

As we traveled, we met a lot of really cool people at work and at home that came into our lives for a short period of time. Some stayed longer but some for just a year or two. To this day, I could return to my favorite Dunkin Donuts in the world (near my office in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ) and when I open the door, I can almost get the same reception that Norm got in the TV show Cheers. I lived life with these guys, prayed along with them for their families and became their friend. And Barb still gets calls from some of her fellow Bible Study Fellowship group members years later asking for guidance and advice. Short time there, deep connections.

In the end, it was one sentence from one of the most important people in my life that led us back to Arkansas. My little grandson via Facetime ended a video call one night with the words: “Pop Pop, you are my best friend”. Now he probably told twelve people that week that they were his best friends, but it didn’t matter to me. I looked at Barb and she already had her trusty wrapping tape in hand and said, “Let’s do it”.

All of this to say that no matter where we lived or for how long, we made friends. And these friends were and will always be a part of us and have a special place in our minds and hearts. You see, the other important lesson I learned was that a change in scenery doesn’t change the heart.

Thanks for reading this and have a great weekend.

With a goal to “help the next guy in line”, Glen Cavallo, a 30+ year healthcare executive has chosen to share the many lessons he has learned with others. Glen does this by serving as a coach/advisor to leaders at all levels of organizations, as a board member and as he presents inspirational speeches at regional, national, annual and awards meetings.